Things I Learned About Managing Memaw Pain.
Many people joke emphatically about being an "old soul." My old soul is a cranky geriatric who daydreams about going to bed early. Like 7:00pm early.
My friend Megan and I have for years joked that we were both born Memaws. Megan is the only person I know that will actually still choose a Werther's Original over any other type of confection. I own more dressing gowns than career ensembles and my preferred Pandora playlist is 1940s Big Band Radio. While we're both comfortable in social settings, we both prefer they happen in daylight hours. And please don't start us on the kids of today.
Fall and winter are especially difficult for me, as the moment dusk settles into my field of vision, that 88-year-old woman inside of me starts groaning, "I should be home in my pajamas." During these dark months, I will let my inner Memaw talk me out of just about any activity that requires me to put on pants and leave the house.
Ordinarily, I am an upbeat and quasi-energetic person, but in the last few years, I have been having neck and shoulder pain more reminiscent of someone who truly grew up in the Eisenhower Administration.
At the advice of a friend, I booked a series of appointment with a local, highly-recommended chiropractor. My nerdy left brain immediately began researching and watching YouTube videos, anxious on what I should expect from someone applying brute force to will my joints back into place. The videos were horrifying with people yelling in excruciating pain. I don't recommend watching them prior to your first visit.
I contemplated canceling the appointment, and sticking to my regimen of Biofreeze and alternating ice and heat. Like most people in pain, I was willing to try anything to bring relief.
Friends, after a few months of care, I can honestly tell you without hesitation, chiropractors are legitimately worth it!
After several appointments, I became quite friendly with the check-in staff, noticing one day everyone was dressed in pink. Looking at my phone I confirmed it truly was Wednesday, and I bellowed in appreciation to this subtle Mean Girls tribute. When I asked my massage tech if I was allowed to sit with them, she said I was one of the few people to get it. Still, I stopped short of trying to make "fetch" happen. At my last appointment, they all cheered "Yay! Christy is here!" The fact that I'm giving them money should have no bearing on that warm welcome, right?
My chiropractor (who I'm not going to name through social media as I truly respect his reputation as a medical professional) got a little weirded out by my sense of humor, but once we bonded over old SNL skits (my favorite was Colon Blow cereal), we hit it off swimmingly. And then he set about cracking my neck and back so loudly, it made my ears ring for several minutes.
Soon, I became a lightning rod for inter-office pranks and hilarity. My massage tech gave me a "TERRIFIC!" sticker because I told her I had been doing my required stretches religiously. My chiropractor, completely unaware a sticker reward system was in place, then insisted on giving me a tissue from his Kleenex box, just so I could go out and complain about him to make his staff laugh maniacally. My attempts to secure them $10 an hour raises have not yet worked, but I am committed.
All in all, I give them 24/24 crackling vertebrae for their care and concern for my well-being. And if you really want to see what all the fuss is about, here's a video of me getting my neck adjusted during my last appointment, as my faithful friend Kara videoed and didn't pass out. Please note my facial expression at the end was for comedic purposes only. At no point was I ever in pain, even when my neck didn't seem to want to cooperate.
So I realize not every chiropractic office is the same, but I thought I'd bullet-point the things I learned if anyone is considering this alternate to pain management.
I didn't realize many insurance providers make chiropractic care available under your health insurance policy. Check your policy, but if it does, it's totally worth it. I paid my specialist copay for the duration of my treatment.
I began my care plan with an honest assessment of my pain. I wasn't at the level of needing surgery or physical therapy, just annoying, persistent pain that had been hanging on for a few years. So maybe check with your doctor to be sure you're healthy and stuff. If you've been in an accident, make a claim. Kentucky law is supposed to cover a certain amount of medical care.
My chiropractor treatment included a short massage, electrical muscle stimulation, (my favorite part!) as well as a brief stint on the world's most luxuriously bed which felt like a motorcycle tire was lightly rolling against my spine.
My chiropractor's office is delightfully clean and welcoming. Chiropractic exams and adjustments happened in private rooms, but the prep work happens in open air. Because you may be climbing onto tables, wear appropriate clothing so you don't pull a Lindsey Lohan and flash the room.
On that note, if you are having massage on your neck or shoulders, consider your provider's job and not wear a turtleneck, jewelry, or complicated tops. They actually do need to put their hands on you.
Chiropractic work happens on the office. Chiropractic results happen at home. If you're assigned stretches, exercises, or prohibited from doing certain activities, maybe obey your treatment plan. For me, this meant actually stretching and doing exercises, something I loathe more than hearing someone say "hydro flask." Want to get better? That person with the education and years of training might be right. Ice therapy is also magical. On my worst days, I still ice my shoulder a bit.
Avoid aggravating a troubled spot. My list of things I'm supposed to avoid is pretty short. But the top spot on that list? Lifting three 24 packs of bottled water consecutively into my cart at Sam's Club.
Your progress is YOUR progress. My chiropractor put me in his "troubled children" category when my pain seemed to get worse before it got better. Your progress is not a straight line from pain to pain free. There are some days I am still in some pain, but overall, I can honestly say I've gotten measurably better during this experience.
So that's the big scoop. Do I long for that time when I was a Memaw without the pain associated with being as old as a Memaw? Absolutely. But I'm looking forward to several more decades before I completely fall apart. And in that time, I'll embrace anything that allows me to live pain free!
Thanks for reading!
~Christy
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