How COVID hasn't killed my love of movies.
A few weeks ago, I asked my ride-or-die bestie Kara if she wanted to do something crazy.
On a Wednesday evening, we drove an hour to watch a drive-in movie. Just us, no husbands, and for her, no kids. Neither of us had ever been to one and many off-colored virgins jokes were made that night.
I made it 41 years on this planet before I ever visited one, and I have to say, they are absolutely delightful! I love going to the movies, but I must confess, I've always hated having my personal bubble burst by old men fishing popcorn kernels out of their dentures. Or people who talk during movies. Or random kids who kick your seat. Or people who smell.
Or people in general, really.
I love watching blockbusters weeks after they've premiered. In the middle of the day. On random Tuesdays. I really love movies, but I'll let the fanboys ruin the experience for other people.
A few years ago actor/director Tyler Perry made a random cameo in the newest Star Trek reboot. I was deep into pondering this questionable casting decision when a random dude shouted "MADEA!!!" into the mostly empty theater. I didn't stop laughing for a while. Years later, anytime I catch that movie on I always yell "MADEA!!" in his honor. So maybe people aren't always bad.
Years ago, my dear friend Susan told me she always arrives at a movie early and picks her prime spot. Moments before anyone arrives she dons a surgical mask. Whenever people enter she coughs loudly, thus retaining her private little movie bubble. No one wants to sit next to a sick person. She is the evil genius mentor I've always wanted.
In a post-COVID apocalyptic wasteland, it seems a little inappropriate to do that now, but even more so with people refusing to wear masks and actually being contagious. So I'm back on team #peoplearetheworst.
Kara and I did some research, desperately needing an outlet for our acute cases of cabin fever. It seemed to be relatively safe to be outside, especially when you're more than six feet away from people. And we both had never been to a drive-in movie, so why not?
We browsed their website, delighted to learn they were a family-owned and operated drive-in. The best part? They offered virtually contact-less experiences! We purchased our tickets online, told the gate person our name, and even got a free beverage on the house!
The area was well-maintained and even offered some of the cleanest bathrooms outside of my favorite Texas destination, Buc-ee's!
The concession stand was fully stocked and accepted all orders digitally, but for that evening, Kara and I opted to pay the $5.00 extra per car to bring our own food. Words cannot describe how much I love this feature. Don't get me wrong, I adore some decadent nachos with cheese while watching a quality film, but my healthier lifestyle now doesn't include tiny boxes of candy or popcorn drowning in butter. Oh, how I wish it did!
Kara laughed at my bougie theater snack, but hear me out. A charcuterie plate is really the perfect theater snack. Finger foods are practically required by law if you're watching a movie. Plus who needs an excuse to eat more cheese and hummus? Not myself.
Kara and I went on Retro Wednesday, featuring two great 80s movies - Ferris Bueller's Day Off and a second movie we didn't stay to watch because we are so incredibly old, we were practically passing out by the time Cameron murdered his dad's Ferrari.
The best part of our evening was the common courtesy all of the patrons exhibited to their fellow moviegoers.
I'm what you call "an indoor girl." The idea of sitting outside with mosquitos and humidity did not appeal to me, so before we even bought tickets I had to ask the awkward question: "Will you judge me if we just sit in my car with the air conditioning running the whole time?" Luckily my ride-or-die is accustomed to my delicate ways.
We intentionally parked far away from other patrons and placed ourselves strategically in the front of the drive-in where no one else had parked. I had to actually Google how to turn my headlights and running lights off while the car was on.
Apparently, you have to engage the parking brake, turn the lights off, and completely restart your car.
I'm not sure you'll ever need to know that, but now you do.
Mid-way through Ferris' energetic rendition of "Danke Schoen," I found myself cackling like a lunatic. Even though I had seen this movie 2 billion times, I was having an absolute picture-perfect theater experience. I was in my own little bubble! With the song blasting through my car radio, I had a sudden realization: I wasted a lot of years by not going to drive-in movies. They were made for people who love movies but don't like other people!
We knew we had to get our husbands on board. Luckily, the drive-in had the perfect combination to tempt our handsome sci-fi-loving husbands. Two weeks later, on a coveted Saturday night, they were showing an out-of-this-world double feature: Spaceballs and The Empire Strikes Back!
Shut up and just take my money.
Both Kara and I jumped at the chance to get our boys together for some social distance fun. I was so touched to learn that not only did Kara and J.D. love Spaceballs, but they had practically raised their children on The Schwartz!
We arrived just before dark and secured our spots and here's where the story takes a dramatic turn, dear friends. I actually sat outside for the entire duration of the movie. Yes, I know, even I was incredibly shocked by that. And by how much bug spray I had to douse myself with before the movie began.
We had a momentary freak-out when the various free radio apps I had downloaded didn't pick up the movie soundtrack, but luckily JD was prepared.
He somehow figured out how to play his car stereo without the engine running, a feature my car doesn't possess.
I might have offered to pay him a million space bucks for saving the day.
With the crisis averted, we settled into our laugh-out-loud feature presentation. It was a perfect night!
Even the kids enjoyed it. Although I suspect the giant bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and copious packets of Sour Patch Kids I brought for them may have sweetened the deal.
Ahh, to be young and have a metabolism again.
But seriously though, can we discuss the absolute magic of Mel Brooks? A sidekick named Barf. The Industrial Strength Hair Dryer? Pizza the Hut. Prince Valium! I still lament a sequel wasn't made. I would have really loved Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
After we served as witnesses to the ludicrous speed nuptials of Princess Vespa and Prince Lone Star, we bid goodbye to the Powell family.
But Brian and I threw caution to the wind and stayed for the epic second feature - the single greatest Star Wars movie ever made. The Empire Strikes Back!
Neither of us had ever seen it on a big screen and we were geeking out! For this classic, we climbed back into our SUV and enjoyed all of the special effects in full surround sound. We also blasted the air conditioning but may have turned on our butt warmers sometime around 1 am. Next time, I'll remember to bring blankets.
I closed my eyes in a brief moment of serenity - this is what all movie experiences should be. Enjoying the artistry of filmmaking in a climate-controlled environment, free of other human beings. Just you, your charcuterie plate, and an unforgettable story. Dare say it, I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to a theater after this summer. Drive-in theaters have officially ruined me.
So.......thanks COVID?
One final note on our summer of drive-ins. I literally laughed out loud at one of the commercials playing before the movie. This particular PSA reminded us that although we were in cars, people could still see what we were doing. I 'm guessing that PSA has been around since Danny put the movies on Sandy in Grease. Which come to think of it, singing along at a drive-in is also an experience I think I was born to have!
You'll be happy to know that even though I didn't put the moves on my husband at the drive-in, we had a fantastic time. We're planning to make it a frequent date night.
And although summer is winding down, it's not too late for you, either! Go catch a drive-in movie as most are open until very late fall. Take a charcuterie plate. Stay out late. But whatever you do, know other people can see you, so keep it PG, kids.
Interested in catching a movie under the stars? Check out this great site for a comprehensive list of drive-in movies near you!
And the awesome family-owned drive-in we visited during the summer of contagion: http://www.sauerbeckfamilydrivein.com/
Thanks for reading!
~ Christy
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